The ruling is a partial victory for civil liberties groups, who argue that lawmakers were subverting a constitutional amendment expected to restore voting rights to 1.4 million Floridians.
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CROCKETT’S FORT, TX—Local man Bob Paulson always refers to his favorite sports teams in the first-person plural, though the teams are exerting themselves and playing really hard while he himself is lying on a couch and covered in a thin layer of Cheeto dust.
The post Man Lying On Couch Covered In Thin Layer Of Cheeto Dust Refers To Favorite Sports Team As ‘We’ appeared first on The Babylon Bee.
Read More → NEW YORK, NY—Lots of people think that baseball is boring, criticizing the game for long pauses between pitches and lots of annoying, dull things like "strategy" and "thinking."
The post MLB To Speed Up Ga…
The Supreme Court will consider a constitutional challenge to the composition of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
Read More → WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources at a DC-area Costco, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton was asked to leave Costco again after repeatedly accusing a lady handing out food samples of being a Russian asset.
The …
A DNA test might show that he didn’t fire the shot that killed a clerk in 1994. But the law says he’d be guilty anyway.
Read More →More than 300,000 students in Chicago were out of school on Friday as the teachers strike continued.
Read More →The company says it will sell only tobacco, mint, and menthol pods unless and until the FDA officially approves other varieties.
Read More →The council’s design all but ensures absurdities like this.
Read More →But can the city commit to reducing its jail population—and will Rikers’ infamous culture just be transplanted to the new jails?
Read More →From morning till past midnight, supporters and opponents of a bill to decriminalize prostitution offered starkly different visions of safety and rights.
Read More →Golf swingers, a gangrenous finger, and the ancient concept of “frolic.”
Read More →Screenwriter Nigel Williams seems to have thought he was working on Fast Times At Moscow High.
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WASHINGTON, D.C.—Trump’s decision to host the next G-7 Summit at an area Chuck E. Cheese has drawn some criticism.
The post Trump’s Decision To Host Next G7 Summit At Chuck E. Cheese Draws Criticism appeared first on The Babylon Bee.
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