Krystal: How Near Is The End?

Kerry KrystalIf my investigative journey deep into Sevier County, Tennessee is any indication, the end is near indeed.

I almost bit.  The wife and I were visiting some of my relatives in Gatlinberg yesterday and on the way back to are secret subterranean lair, we made a stop at Krystal’s.  (In the interest of the nice, courteous and cute staff, I will not disclose which Sevier County Krystal where we made the stop.)  Wife suggested I try the Philly cheese Krystal, and I thought about it for a moment, then asked, “Is it cheese whiz, or provolone?”  Of course, American could be an outside possibility, but the cashier responded “Swiss.”

Visions of Vietnam Veteran, and failed presidential candidate John F. Kerry flew through my head.  It was his formulation, his toppings: Peppers, onions, and Swiss cheese.

I literally could not believe my ears, and reflexively asked, “What?”  She repeated her previous answer and offered me a stack of buy-one-get-one-free coupons.  I politely declined.  Of course, she could have been mistaken.  I checked the Krystal website to find an official list of toppings and the cheese listed was “white.”  Of all of the white cheeses to pick from out there, Swiss is certainly one of them.

At our table, the wife asked me about the sandwich and then I broke the news to her.  We both had a good laugh as we waited for the nice young lady to deliver our order.

I suppose it was back when Krystal stopped carrying real Tabasco, switching to their own brand, that I suspected the end was coming.  When they moved their headquarters from Chattanooga to Atlanta, I knew nothing positive could come from that either.

Now, the Kerry Krystal is just another sign that my beloved burger stop will be no more before I am.

Follow Steve @AustrianAnarchy or view his Austrian Anarchy blog.  His work-in-progress, “The Anarchist’s Soufflé Book“, should be done any year now.