From then until now — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the year that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
The year began with a double-digit field of Republicans vying for their party’s presidential nomination. The comparisons to the clown car were inevitable — and frequently deserved.
This circus stinks. Those aren’t even real elephants. But they do have a few RINOs.
On the Democrat side, the situation was far worse, with two spooky old people ranting at each other. Nana finally outpointed Uncle Grandpa; albeit with some help from a Democrat Party left in total disarray after their primary slap-fest.
It’s all fun and games until someone breaks a hip.
The GOP nominated Donald Trump? There’s no way the Democrats can screw this up!
I stand corrected.
Hillary Clinton never managed to escape the shadow of her email scandals; ultimately trying to dismiss the issue as part of the “vast right-wing conspiracy.” Apparently, the old girl forgot that the authorities involved all worked for this man:
Figures the rich, old, white lady would blame the black guy.
Hollywood freaks went to the mattresses for Hillary; in some cases, a little too literally. The thing that used to be Madonna even offered sexual favors in return for Hillary votes.
Free syphilis with every ballot! It can’t miss!
The final score: President-elect Donald Trump: 304 — Hillary the Inevitable: 227
I’ve never been so relieved to be wrong in all my life.
Democrats accepted the results of the election about as well as you’d expect.
Think snowflake here is sad now? Wait until she learns the real “value” of that Gender Studies degree.
Obama spent the year playing second fiddle globally to Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. Putin acted with impunity, routinely exposing Obama’s weakness and cowardice.
“So, Barry, you are — how you say — ‘my beetch,’ da?”
Thanks to Obama’s open-door policy, the torrent of illegal aliens entering the U.S. reached flood stage as violent criminals and potential terrorists swarmed in, hidden in the masses. The numbers increased throughout the year, with thousands streaming in before November.
It’s like they knew something the Democrats didn’t.
Islamic terrorism reached a fever pitch, Obama and the Democrats continued to deny its very existence; crediting ISIS and other Islamofascist attacks to “gun violence,” “Islamophobia” and even “climate change.”
“Allahu Akbar” is actually Jihad-ese for “Hot enough for ya?”
The people of the United Kingdom shocked the globalists by voting to bail out of the EU with their Brexit vote.
Last time the Brits stuck it to the Europeans like that, the Spanish Armada went for a swim in the English Channel.
Before Fidel Castro joined his buddy Che’ in the “Communist Tyrant” section of Perdition, President Barack Obama made a historic visit to Cuba, kicking back with Fidel’s lil’ bro Raul Castro and presumably trading tips on crushing dissent.
“IRS audits? We use bullets. Way cheaper.”
Obama gave Iran hundreds of billions of dollars, undoubtedly shortening their path to nuclear weapons. In return, the Iranians abducted American sailors at gunpoint.
For $500 billion you’d think they’d have snacks on board.
The organizers of the Rio Olympics just had to use the opening ceremonies to lecture us about so-called “climate change.”
Beats talking about their “drinking water.”
The passing of Justice Antonin Scalia left a gaping hole in the nation’s highest court. Of course, liberals celebrated the news. Many added hopes that Justice Clarence Thomas follow suit, and soon.
Guess not all black lives matter.
Between “sit-ins” and other stunts, the Democrats went all-out against the 2nd Amendment this year. During an infomercial on CNN, Obama claimed “there are neighborhoods around the country where it is easier for a 12- or a 13-year-old to purchase a gun, and cheaper, than it is for them to get a book.” Funny how those neighborhoods are all in “gun-free” cities like Obama’s own hometown of Chicago.
Twelve-year-olds with guns? Man, someone should make that illega… um… nevermind.
Americans found themselves in the middle as increasingly militarized police clashed in the streets with increasingly violent racists like “Black Lives Matter” thugs. As cops and citizens fell in burning cities across the nation, Obama threw gas on the fire, openly siding with the worst elements and even inviting them to the White House.
What do I care? I got Secret Service protection for life, suckers!
“Fake news” finished the year as the one of the left’s favorite excuses for the failure of their media/Democratic machine.
It’s a real problem, and they would know. They’re experts.
After 108 years…
Your forecast for Hell and the surrounding area: snow and ice. High temperatures in the 20s.
2016 saw the final curtain fall on a number of rich and famous types. Some lamented, some merely late.
This guy will outlive us all, however.
And that’s 2016 in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next year on The WIRE!”