#Vault7: The CIA’s Fantastic Beasts and Where to Buy Them

“Can the man say, Fiat lux, Let there be light; and out of chaos make a world? Precisely as there is light in himself, will he accomplish this.”
-Thomas Carlyle

--The apocalypse (AKA the unveiling) is in full swing this week…

The Deep State, as you may’ve heard, has been dealt a blow so heavy even Mike Tyson, we hear, is jealouth.

Yes, of course we’re talking about the #Vault7.

So what’ve we learned?

Well, first of all: The CIA, under the Obama Administration, spent more than $100 billion building the most powerful digital attack arsenal known to man.

Poppers. Whizzers. Snatchers. Grabbers. Flappers. Flippers. Snappers. Tappers. Clippers. Dippers. Rippers. Grippers. Snippers. Slippers. Nippers. Snitchers.

If you can think of it, the CIA has created it. Several hundred millions of lines of code making up the Internet’s most fantastic beasts.


Obama Made it Rain on the CIA

According to Wikileaks, in the midst of this radical digital creature boomtown, the CIA celebrated the Obama Administration’s financial largesse by passing around a “Make it Rain” gif.


For the past decade-plus, says the press release, the “CIA found itself building not just its now infamous drone fleet, but a very different type of covert, globe-spanning force — its own substantial fleet of hackers. The agency’s hacking division freed it from having to disclose its often controversial operations to the NSA (its primary bureaucratic rival) in order to draw on the NSA’s hacking capacities.”

Thus the agency’s Center for Cyber Intelligence was born. The CIA had created its very own NSA with, reads the release, “even less accountability and without publicly answering the questions as to whether such a massive budgetary spend on duplicating the capacities of a rival agency could be justified.”

Needless to say, it didn’t take long until the Agency got a little too big for its britches. It went from looking for backdoors in your “smart” tech to inserting operatives into major tech companies so to create them.

Microsoft. Apple. Google. Cisco.

They’ve all been infiltrated by the Deep State.

But now the secret’s out. And, to add to the chaos, the fantastic beasts are on the loose.

[Cue the collective gasps. Shock. Horror. Amusement. Cheering.]

The CIA’s Fantastic Beasts & Where to Buy Them

What really tickles our giblets is the CIA spent well over $100 billion creating the most sophisticated, powerful and dangerous hacking arsenal known to transhuman… only to carelessly lose it in the wilderness.

(Some reports say the CIA was engaging in unauthorized sharing of these tools with corporate… clients? Smooth.)

That’s right. The CIA’s fantastic beasts are out there. In the wild.


So let’s run through a list of some of the most fantastic, and how much we think (by our best guesstimators) the development of these hacks cost American taxpayers.

The Samsung TV hack, called “Weeping Angel,” which allows handlers to spy on people even when they think their TV is off?

Best guess… $113,378,432.

(Private sector could’ve probably done it with $3,549.)

Turning all Internet-enabled consumer products in the world into your own personal listening devices?

Government’s tab… $827,447,231.

The ability to turn all Skype conversations into text in real-time, scanning them for words, phrases and clusters of interest and storing them in a huge spy cloud?

Sounds like… $412,9384,388.

Technology which allows you to remotely control chips in cars, jets, medical devices and hospital technology for potential assassination applications?

Hmm… $2,384,394,484.

And then promptly losing every bit of it to the enemy?


There’s Good and Bad News

Yes, these tools are very likely being thrown around the Deep Web faster than a rolled up $20 at a Hollyweird pool party.

The CIA has made EVERYONE extremely vulnerable by inadvertently releasing these beasts into indigital territory. Every government, corporation, criminal organization and script kiddie now has access to the CIA’s full hacking capacity.

“Once a single cyber ‘weapon’ is ‘loose,’” the #Vault7 press release reads, “it can spread around the world in seconds, to be used by rival states, cyber mafia and teenage hackers alike.”

Scary thought.

So… first things first.

You need to do everything you can to make sure what’s left of your security and privacy is protected.

Make it a point to change your passwords regularly and, bare minimum, use two-factor authentication (2FA) wherever you can. (Emphasis on the BARE MINIMUM!)

(Don’t worry. I’ll do an in-depth piece about how you can protect what’s yours soon. Stay tuned.)

The Good News?

Large corporations, especially those implicated in the leaks, are now forced to act on this information. We all know the biggest players have been infiltrated. We all know our products — i.e. our personal information and online assets — are vulnerable

If they choose to do nothing about this, it will be to their eventual demise. If they choose to keep their customers’ information open and vulnerable to being spied on and hacked, it will become clear to those who matter that they don’t truly know where their bread’s being buttered.

Alternatives will rise in the marketplace and do what the Cronies refuse to — and the people, concerned about their assets and information will quickly migrate to more secure ships.

Moreover, this makes an even stronger case for decentralization and embracing, perhaps, an IPFS-centric web. (We’ll talk about this sexy beast soon, too.)

It’s going to be a rocky journey. But the revelations out of Wikileaks only confirm what we’ve been saying all along — as power continues to flatten, the powers that were will find it harder and harder to keep their secret genies inside their respective bottles.

The tip of the iceberg keeps getting bigger.

Those who keep their wits, stay fluid, always stop stopping and never stop learning will thrive. Those who try to keep the Old Guard in place (or continue to live in such a way which presupposes the Old Guard will survive) will, sooner or later, have their claws ripped out by trying to hold on to the wayside.

Keep your head up, your eyes open and your valuables locked.

Fiat lux,

Chris Campbell
Managing editor, Laissez Faire Today

P.S. Have something to say? Say it! Chris@lfb.org.

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