The Great White Hope

December 14, 2011   |  

For twenty years, America has loved him, but only from afar. The man of keen intelligence and brilliant bluster has dirty hands, so while we admire him, we certainly can't invite him to dine at the best table in the land.

Yet… We really wish we could.

A new survey, conducted by the Republican firm the polling company, shows five candidates in double digits, with no one really running away from the pack. Businessman Herman Cain leads with 20 percent, statistically tied with former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, at 19 percent.

We al

ways want the everyman, which is why we were so enamored with Herman Cain. But as I wrote last week, Cain is done. So now instead of the everyman, we're looking to Old Faithful. Or in this case, Old Unfaithful.

Does a man with such a soiled past have hope for a presidential future? And what does that say about America's changing mores? Since ol' Newt left the House, we've seen two wars, a black president, gay marriage in many states, and Glee. So do we really care about a guy who gets blowjobs in his car from a married woman while his wife is dying? Or are we over that now?

Newt will be one to watch. I just hope that the hero worshipers aren't disappointed if he does make it to the White House. Finding out your god is actually a mortal is a soul-crushing experience.


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