August 11, 2022 1:20 pm

Want To Be One Of The New IRS Agents? Here Are The 17 Job Requirements

President Biden just solved the economy by creating thousands of IRS jobs! We know you’ve always dreamed of working for the IRS, but do you have what it takes?

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August 11, 2022 11:44 am

‘Our Client Pleads The Fifth,’ Say Lawyers As Tied-Up Trump Desperately Tries To Peel Duct Tape Off Mouth

NEW YORK, NY — Former President Donald Trump avoided incriminating himself in a deposition with New York A.G. Letitia James by pleading the fifth amendment right to remain silent. Sources confirm that the plea was entered by Trump’s legal team while Tr…

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August 11, 2022 10:45 am

Joe Biden Vetoes Inflation Reduction Act After Reporting Inflation To Already Be 0%

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Joe Biden has vetoed the Inflation Reduction Act even before it could be passed by the House, explaining that there was no need for it since inflation was already at 0%.

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August 11, 2022 8:44 am

FBI To Begin Raiding Homes Of Those Who Criticize FBI Raid

U.S. — FBI Director Christopher Wray has come under criticism for his raiding of former President Trump’s residence. He responded this morning by announcing that all who criticize the FBI’s raid will have their own homes raided as well.

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August 10, 2022 4:13 pm

Report: By 2026 Everyone In U.S. Will Be Working For IRS And Will All Just Be Auditing Each Other

U.S. — A new report is predicting a 0% unemployment rate by the year 2026, as every American will be working for the IRS and be hard at work auditing other American citizens who work for the IRS.

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August 10, 2022 1:18 pm

Father Who Knows 40-Year-Old Baseball Stats Only Vaguely Aware Of Kids’ Ages

ROYAL OAK, MI — Local Dad Jeff Francis is widely known as a loving and devoted father, but some sources indicate he struggles with the details when it comes to his four sons. Jeff’s wife Rebecca provides helpful reminders about their children’s birthda…

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August 10, 2022 1:00 pm

4D Chess: Trump Saves His Cache Of Classified Documents From FBI Confiscation By Labeling Them ‘Epstein’s Client List’

PALM BEACH, FL — Federal agents left empty-handed following a raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate. Sources say Trump cleverly hid his cache of classified documents in plain sight by labeling them “Epstein’s Client List.”

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August 10, 2022 11:37 am

Strong, Independent Woman Accompanies Strong, Independent Woman To Restroom

SEATTLE, WA — A strong, independent woman accompanied a strong, independent woman to the restroom in a pub in downtown Seattle, according to sources.

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August 10, 2022 10:50 am

Enlightened Trump Takes Vow Of Silence

NEW YORK, NY — In what many are calling the most powerful 5th Amendment plea ever, enlightened Trump has taken a vow of silence.

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August 10, 2022 9:30 am

Saruman Breeds Army Of 87,000 More Tax Collectors

MORDOR — In order to ensure the kingdoms of Middle Earth pay their fair share to The Great Eye, Saruman has created an army of 87,000 tax collectors in the breeding pits of Orthanc Tower.

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August 9, 2022 4:28 pm

Success! You Managed To Get One Pant Leg On Your Toddler! UPDATE: BOTH LEGS ARE OUT AGAIN PLEASE SEND HELP

See, that wasn’t so hard! According to your spouse, you were just instructed to go change your toddler, something you should be fully capable of without any help. You just got one pant leg on and that’s half the battle right there!

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August 9, 2022 3:56 pm

‘You’ll Never Take Me Alive, Coppers!’ Shouts Trump Speeding Away From FBI Agents In Golf Cart

PALM BEACH, FL — Former President Donald J. Trump was seen fleeing on a golf cart while shouting defiantly at federal agents Monday. Witnesses claim he led authorities on a daring chase that reached speeds of up to 30 Mph.

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August 9, 2022 1:28 pm

Report: FBI Raided Mar-A-Lago After Tip That Parents Were Protesting A School Board Meeting There

PALM BEACH, FL — Amid mounting accusations of attempting to intimidate former President Trump from running for re-election in 2024, Attorney General Merrick Garland explained today that when the FBI was tipped off about a school board protest at Mar-A-…

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